I'm In The Fast Lane From LA To Tokyo

"First things first I'm the realist."

~~~~~~~

After my last post, many of you commented on my nice house. Thank you so much!! I'm working on it. But I don't want to give anyone the impression that I am one of those Look-At-My-Gorgeous-Home/Children/Cooking/Fashion/LIFE kind of blogs. I LOVE those kind of blogs. I really do. But around here it's more of a Warts-And-All kind of situation. 

 

 

Oops. Burned my toast AGAIN! I actually like burned food. I think that means I have some sort of vitamin deficiency or something.

 

 

I'll doctor it up with some sunflower seed butter and chia seeds. That should help.

 

 

I read the New York Times while I eat breakfast. Even though we live thousands of miles away from New York I just HAVE TO read the New York Times. I never ever read the local newspaper. I have No Idea what is going on around here.

 

 

This is my view every morning. Doggy bottom and a bag o' poop.

I lead such a glamorous life.

I know for a fact that some of you walk out of your door EVERY DAY looking like a Million Bucks.

This is how I walk out of my door.

 

20 year old straw hat ~ needs repair
vintage prescription Ray Bans
souvenir t-shirt from my insurance company for crying out loud!
cut-off grey sweat pants ~ classy!
Reef flip flops.  Reef makes the BEST flip flops. They have an arch support. No kidding!

"Let's get drunk on the mini-bar."

 

 

It has been so long since I've been able to wear "real" shoes that I have acquired a rather impressive flip flop tan line.

 

 

My dusty unworn shoe pile. Sigh...

 

 

This is my Inspiration Board. It explains A Lot. I haven't even gotten around to hanging on the wall.

 

 

 

This is Winda, the first doll I ever owned. She gives my family the creeps so she has to live in the closet.

 

 

Winda is so Punk Rock. This is her original 1950's dress.

 

 

"You should want a bad bitch like this."

~~~~~~~

The experts say that as you get older you should learn a new skill in order to keep your mind nimble. I decided to memorize the lyrics to rap songs so that when they finally haul me off to "the home" I'll probably be mumbling about pimps and ho's. I decided to start with "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea because I thought it would be easy. I performed it for my daughter and the look on her face was either Horror or Delight. It was hard to tell.

 

thrifted polyester lady blouse ~ Goody is right. Polyester is a good summer fabric.
8 year old floppy flares from the sale room at Anthropologie. Love the Anthro sale room.

 

"I can hold you down like I'm givin' lessons in physics."

 

All of my clothing must adhere to the Get-Down Rule. I must be able to easily Get Down onto the ground without hurting or embarrassing myself or anyone around me. Then I have to be able to get back up again. Yep.

 

 

 I inherited this beautiful 1960's fish necklace from my mother-in-law. She loved her jewelry.

 

 

 

So what do you do to keep YOUR brain working smoothly????? 

 

 

I be stuntin' over at Patti's Visible Monday
Hey, who dat over at Anne's 52 Pick-Me-Up?

Get An Ugly Girl To Marry You

"If  you want to be happy for the rest of your life.

Never make a pretty woman your wife."

Do you know this song by Jimmy Soul? It was a Big Hit in 1963. Of Course it was.

You can listen to it HERE

 

via PINTEREST

 

I come from a long line of SUPERB Housewives.

Some of them were actually very Pretty.

Generations of Spotlessly Clean Rooms,  Fabulous Homemade Dinners, Chubby Scrubbed Faces, Weed Free Gardens, Immaculate Table Manners. That is the Female Tradition in my Family. And I'm pretty certain that was the plan for me.

However, My Natural Inclination is More towards Bohemian Loft Apartments, Smoky Blues Bars and Stay-Up-Late/Cake-For-Breakfast Parenting.

So I've spent my life feeling Sad and Resentful when I'm keeping House

and Giddy but Guilty when I'm Out and About.

I'm not alone here. Am I????

Anyhoo...You are Not my Therapist. PINTEREST is my Therapist!

So here is My Take on that PIN up there.

 

black linen blouse ~ thrifted
cotton dirndl skirt ~ made by moi - Yes, there are pockets
orthopedic sandals ~ Ecco

 

I Have Cherries in My Bowl.

That sounds like a Blues Song.

 

Rainier Cherries. YUM! Thank you Pacific Northwest!

Close-up of my crummy sewing. I avoid button holes like I avoid parallel parking.

I wore this skirt to a party where a 9 year old girl asked me if I made it myself. I guess that pretty much sums up my feeble sewing skills...recognizable by Children!

Jonathan is my long-suffering husband.

 My Mother-in-Law gave me this charm from her bracelet. She had a charm for each of her six - yes - SIX Sons!

~~~~~~~

And now a brief tour of my soon to be painted kitchen.

 

toujours la francophile

 

My Heart is in Montana
My arteries may be clogged
 

 

Roses from the garden. Martha Stewart Living. I'm trying...

 

Still life tableau by the kitchen sink

 

Lucky Little Pig
I NEVER EVER eat Pigs. They are my Friends.

 

 

Some people inherit Money or Art or Jewelry or Property.

I inherited my Grandmother's Bakelite Handle Kitchen Utensils.

See what I mean?

 

"Say Man!! I saw your wife the other day! Yeah, and she's sure is Ugly-y-y-y!!!"

"Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can Cook, Baby."

joining the fruit salad over at Mis Papelicos
retroactively joining 52-pick-me-up