Thursday, May 2, 2013

This Is How I Roll

This is a picture of Lady Gaga in her gold plated wheelchair.
This is a picture of Lady Connie in her rental wheelchair from the medical supply place.
You may remember these incidents. This one and this one.
Well, the road to recovery is rarely a smooth one. I guess we all know that. It's just that these past few years have been CHALLENGING to say the least.
NOTICE: This isn't a very cheerful post so if you'd rather read something a little fluffier, stop reading this right now and go here.*** The Cheery Blossom Girl always cheers me up. Merci, Alix. 


“Madam Red Apple” - illustrated by Janet Laura Scott (1929) by docarelle on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
“Madam Red Apple” by Mary Graham Bonner, illustrated by Janet Laura Scott, Springfield: McLoughlin Bros., Inc., 1929.  From my personal collection.
Then she gets very sick and takes a while to recuperate. Her big thrill here is that she gets to move from her bedroom and into a different room, where she still has to sit and look out the window during the several months it apparently takes her to recuperate.
I started this blog as a little distraction in my daily life.
In December of 2009 I was diagnosed with leukemia. Or as my brother calls it "the worst Christmas present ever." Bummer. I went through chemo in January 2010 and after a tough recovery I was finally in remission when a tumor was discovered on my thyroid. Double Bummer. Luckily it was benign but I had to have it surgically removed and since I had not yet fully recovered from the chemo, the recovery from the surgery plus an intense bout of hypothyroidism left me like a wet dish rag. I actually hallucinated a few times which was about the only bright spot of this whole time. But as a former hippie I have to admit that the hallucinations were AWESOME.
When I finally started to feel a little bit like myself again I decided to go back to work at the fancy schmancy clothing boutique where I had been working before I fell ill.
I had not been back to work a month when my manager, a TOTAL SOCIOPATH, pulled me into her office a berated me for two full hours because she felt that I was asking for too many days off to visit the doctor (I had to have weekly blood tests) and I "appeared tired" and had "a bad attitude."
Yeah, I had a bad attitude because I worked for HER. I promptly quit. But it was sad because I LOVED my coworkers and I LOVED the clothing discounts and of course, I liked the paycheck.
But I was still teaching Pilates a little bit and I have a ton of adorable friends and the most loving family. So I sucked it up.
Then in 2011 I was diagnosed with skin cancer. Triple Bummer. After three surgeries I had to undergo seven weeks of radiation. It was NOT FUN. The hypothyroidism came back and my body decided to go through menopause. I won't even elaborate on that. I don't think I NEED to. Right, Ladies??
Then I started my little schblog. I had spent so much time reading blogs while I was recuperating from this and that and I found that unless you HAVE a blog it's difficult to comment. As you can tell I'm a bit of a chatter box and to be stuck at home with noone to talk to I was THRILLED to have some friends. Even if they were only online. I could check in on them in the middle of the night or early in the morning or any time really. My friends and family at home were much more persnickety about this schedule than were my blog friends.
You have given me so much support as I go through my latest medical adventure which shall now be known as Bummer Number Four. Some nerve root damage from back surgery has made this a very difficult recovery. The good news is that nerves do repair themselves. The bad news is that they grow at a rate of about 1mm a month. The good new is that I'm not very tall so the nerves have a much shorter trip than usual. And the big bad news is that because of intense muscle spasms in my feet I CAN'T WEAR SHOES. Did I mention that I CAN'T WEAR SHOES?! Augh! I LOVE SHOES. So this has been really tough. I spend a lot of time perusing Zappos...just dreaming of footwear. Oh well...  
I will eventually get better. Things could be much much worse. Sure, I'm sad and depressed at times. I can't walk very well yet. It is frustrating and painful and lonely.
But I want to let you know how much YOU mean to me. I would have gone totally BONKERS if I hadn't have had my blog friends to cheer me up. I'm reading about your adventures every day. And your sweet sweet words of encouragement have kept me going on days when I just wanted to stay in my pj's and cry. Some of you have even sent me personal notes which is amazing. AMAZING!!
In light of some of the things going on in the world right now MY problems are pretty miniscule.
These are not the first bumps on my little journey through life and I'm sure they won't be the last. It just helps sometimes to have a few travelling companions to grab your hand when you need it. Thank you for coming along for the ride. I will always be there for YOU if you ever need me.


  1. Oh Connie, I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much trauma. You are such a beautiful, funny, warm and supportive person in Blogland, I'd love to give you a big hug - please accept a virtual one across the miles. Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for a positive outcome very soon - you've got tremendous attitude and positivity and I know you'll be wearing shoes very soon. xxxx

  2. Connie, I read your story with an increasing sense of disbelief and outrage that so much difficulty can fall on one small and lovely person! SO not fair. (My mother always said "whoever told you life was going to be fair?" and she surely has a point...) I am so so sorry that you have had so many health issues to deal with, and on top of it all, that bloody bitch of an employer! I could just slap her, what an arse. (I swear more when I'm angry...)
    So - I can only imagine how hard it has been for you, and I cannot imagine how you have endured it all while maintaining a wonderful sense of humour, kindness and generosity of spirit. You amaze me. And you would ROCk a gold wheelchair, it's wasted on Lady Gaga. But hopefully you won't need one for too much longer, and you will not only be wearing shoes, but walking and dancing in them.
    Much much love to you, dear Connie, and the biggest hug you can imagine. xxxxx

  3. Wow! You have been through a tough few years. Your story brought tears to my eyes. It is so easy to get wrapped up in your own struggles until you hear about someone else. As you mentioned the chaos in the world, or for me reading your story. I have really appreciated all of your comments on my blog, it helps to feel connected to someone in some small way. My struggles this year and last have been mostly financial coupled with loss of a loved one and starting a new life away from friends and family on the other side of the country. In truth we all have struggles throughout life but it makes it easier no matter what you are dealing with if you are not alone in it. I hope that your road to recovery is smooth and that your life is filled with support and love.

  4. Well first off I just wanna say how beautiful you look!!c
    The wheelchair may not be gold plated.... but come on that's a little ridiculous anyhow (At least I thought so when I first seen it in a magazine.)
    I can't believe how much crap you have had to deal with. That just doesn't seem fair. But just remember there is light at the end of every tunnel. "I giggled about you being short so the nerves wouldn't take that long" Being short too it made me smile. (See even your sad post put a little smile on my face.)

    Don't worry you will have be able to buy shoes in the future, I don't think the world will ever have a shortage.
    I bought a pair of shoes yesterday. (NO I AM NOT TRYING TO RUB IT IN YOUR FACE LOL.. I am telling you because I think it might make you smile.) These are them:

    (Maybe you could wear these kind too?!) They are the closest shoes to being barefoot. I had wanted them for over a year but being the cheapo I am I was waiting for a good sale. =p
    Yesterday was the first day I wore them and I can tell ya what.... it was a little funny seeing all the people I passed looking at my feet.

    MANY AND MANY virtual air hugs to you Connie. I always love your posts and your comments.

  5. Wow, woman, you have been through the wringer! And, no, you are not depressing - never! - quite the opposite. I, too, aside from my adventures in underemployment, have been down the rabbit hole of the health care system - first with my son and now with my mother. I haven't talked a lot about my current gig, taking care of mom, because my aunt reads my blog, and I would hardly paint a flattering portrait. But I feel safe here with you! You look beautiful, BTW, and I couldn't look that good on my best day. A recommendation for shoes: If you crochet, and I think you do, check out the many patterns for crochet "barefoot" sandals.

  6. Dearest Connie, I never thought you have experienced all that. You are a Survivor! You will be a survivor all through out never forget that. You are a Brave and strong woman especially sharing all this through your Blog. You know that you are always in my prayers. I will also undergo surgery next month. I will send you a note about it. Thank you very much for always keeping in touch through my Blog. I always enjoy your comments and always lifts my spirit when I receive comments from you. Take care, Pamela

  7. Connie, It wasn't until I saw all your BUMMERS spelled out on ONE page that it really hit me just how much you have been through in the last couple of years. And through it all, you have remained cheery and upbeat and good-humored and I commend you for that as I imagine it hasn't been easy to keep up your positive attitude. I miss having you as my teacher (although I think you'll be back, right?) but I am grateful for your friendship. Lori

  8. It's a bit diffcult to read this. You show a lot of strength and courage, this is important. You must know that your blog also gives us a lot every day. So thank you to you. We think of you, you are beautiful in this picture. erno

  9. Hi Connie, I'll totally grab your hand and hopefully we'll laugh our way through this coaster ride as much as possible. It can't be easy. And sorry, I had to laugh when you said 1mm a month is not so bad because you're short... Your attitude needs to be bottled and sold. You'd be a bazillionaire. Can you at least wear socks? I'd love to find you a pair of socks with the print of platform heels on them until you can wear the real thing. And you are far more gorgeous than Gaga in her chair. After all, you're Snow in the Air. How cool is that? True hugs. xo

  10. Wow! boy! Connie you have been through a lot and you are still there to remind us that we have to keep our moral up no matter, battle, fight, spread the word, this book my yoga instructor has a new meaning reading what you went through and still are going through- My problems are so tiny compare to yours my God thank you for telling us -

    Lots of hugs

    Ariane xxx

  11. Bonsoir Connie. Thank you for stopping by chez French Girl in Seattle today. I always enjoy reading your comments but had no idea what you had been going through. My goodness. You are one brave, strong lady. Talk about resilience. I am not sure I would have been able to put up with quite so much. Then again, we are stronger than we think. I hope your back mends itself, and that you get to wear shoes again soon. What a bummer that must be. I did not know you were a Pilates instructor either. Pilates and fitness walking are my two favorite forms of exercise. I have set up a small studio in my home office and do some Pilates every day, even if only for two minutes. Hang in there, lady. Like you, I have found that the friendships born out of blogging are valuable and long lasting ones. Feel free to write me anytime. Veronique (French Girl in Seatttle)

  12. wow that's quite a tale and you have born it all with such grace....... good luck and happy health very very soon......

  13. My dearest Connie, from this second on I will think of you when I think I have a problem. You are such an example, taking life as it comes and making the most of it.
    Much love and admiration.

  14. Those toes might be driving you mad but they are looking good to me. I had a foot operation a few years back and it took over twelve months for the nerve endings to calm down. It just needs a little time and all will be well, and all will be well. ( An incantation for you.) Flowers and a smile - you are looking lovely. The same cannot be said of Lady Gaga despite her golden wheels!

  15. Oh my I totally missed this post. I need to get myself a reader so I don't miss anymore important posts like this in the future...
    I am so sorry about all this. I already knew of some issues as you know but this is too much!
    I hope the nerve endings mend themselves quickly, you have to go back to wearing shoes!
    Anyway, I always take solace in the thought that these things always happen to the good people, maybe it's god or the universe testing us.
    Much love and thank you so much for all your kind words and support throughout all the time of our blogging friendship <3 Love you Connie!

  16. OMG I did not know that about you Connie. I dont know what to say exept ..YOU ARE ONE AMAZING STRONG WOMAN. You are a true role model and a survivor. I myself have been sick with lots of pain for many years before I starded Inredningsvis, and It really sucked. Im better now but I really know how It feels to be in the dark.

    I have starded a new categorie on my blog that I named Inspiring people and It would be an honor if you will be in one of my first posts. Its about people that I strongly admire and you are definitely one of them.

    Would you like to inspire inredningsvis?? just let me know:)

    Thanks for visiting me with your sweet words all the time:)

    BIG LOVE from Maria

  17. Hi Connie,
    I'm so sorry to read about these horrible things that you have been going through... I really admire you as you seem to keep a positive mind throughout all this and I believe that staying positive during some of the worst things that can happen in life helps the healing process... I wish you all the best and will definitely be coming back to visit you :):)

  18. I'm so sorry I'm so late to this post, but thank you so much for directing me here... I had absolutely no idea how complex your experience has been! I'm so sorry you've had such a terrible few years and I am absolutely in awe of your beautiful, positive, happy outlook and fabulous sense of humour. Poor health and pain are the worst. I so wish you a speedy recovery and my virtual hand of friendship. I am a terrible insomniac and I'm ALWAYS awake if you ever feel like a chat!

    Big hugs - you ROCK!

    Sarah xxx


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...